Friday, August 04, 2006

Friday Guest Spot (Part Deux)

Ken writes the following tongue-in-cheek take on living in what he calls a "mixed marriage".

----------------------------------------

I don’t normally make this known, but I live in a “mixed marriage”. I’m not talking about me being a typical geek, aging white boy while my wife is a hot Asian babe, though both things are true. No, I’m talking about me being a loyal Trailblazers fan and my wife being an ardent (gasp) Kings supporter. Perhaps some explanation is in order. After all, she tries to explain me all the time to her friends, now it’s my turn.

I met my wife more than a decade and a half ago in Yuba City, California. I was working for a large company out of Portland for a few months and living in the motel where she worked. When I returned home, she came with me. (There is no truth whatsoever to the rumor she was bound and gagged during the trip and I wish she would quit spreading that around.)

At that time she was not a basketball fan. That soon changed, however, as Buck and Jerome and Clyde and Terry became household names. A couple years later we moved to Reno, NV and things began to change. I began to notice subtle little signs, like the Vlade Divac bobble head doll on the mantle and her sudden affinity for “White Chocolate”. I suppose parts of it were understandable, we were both admirers of Rick Adelman and, living in Reno, you get a large dose of Kings programming, but still it was tough when… well, one day the Blazers were playing the Kings and I suddenly realized we were arguing different sides of a call.

“Whose side are you on, anyway?” I screamed, rather politely, I thought. “The Kings, whose side are you on?” She answered. This is the thanks I get for introducing her to the game.

Then, horror of horrors, we actually lived in Sacramento for a year. It was a very good year for the Kings, however, and even I found myself rooting for them now and again (but only as a second choice, I swear!) We’ve since moved out of that insane atmosphere and having been out of it for almost three years now, I have returned to my sanity and, once again, only root for the Trailblazers. My wife, alas, is seemingly beyond repair. Late last season it came to a head.

“Better get down here, the Blazers game is on!”

“We’re watching the Kings tonight.” She answered.

“Why would we do that?”

“Because they are playing the Lakers and they are going to crush them.”

Alright! Now there’s something we can agree on.

Perhaps you, or someone you know, are/is caught in a mixed marriage like mine. Here are a few tips for coping (assuming for the moment that divorce is not an option).

1: Remember the good things you share. Basketball is, after all, only three fourths to seven eighths of life.

2: There was a good reason the words “For better or for worse” were written into your wedding vows and this is a good time to remember this.

3: Always try to find common ground such as your loathing of the Lakers and the incompetence of the refs. If that fails, and it rarely does, remember there are good people like Adelman and Petrie in almost every organization.

4: Separate TVs is not a bad idea. Separate houses are recommended only in extreme cases. For instance: your spouse is a Lakers fan.

5: Above all else, remember it’s only a game. Sometimes you have to repeat that to yourself over and over. It’s generally considered bad form to say it through clenched teeth.

Ken Fuller

-----------------------------------------

Do you live in a "mixed marriage" or are a child/parent/friend/significant other of a fan of a different team (or a non-sports fan)? What have you had to do to convince them of the sanity of your Blazer passion (or to join in it)? Any interesting stories? Share them below or by e-mail.

--Dave (blazersub@yahoo.com)

337 Comments:

Blogger Dave said...

Ken,

I actually had a recurring nightmare a few years ago when I was single. It was about meeting this girl who was cute, charming, intelligent, great conversationalist...everything I ever wanted. Then one day she'd show up in a Kobe jersey. Dang.

I'll sit on the husband's bench outside the clothes store at the shopping mall for three hours, I'll smile while listening to the nocturnal snore-symphony of the visiting mother-in-law, I'll unclog the mistakenly-flushed hygiene products...heck, I'll even buy them off aisle ten WITH the obligatory public price check...but there are some things you just DO NOT DO. Get to steppin' babe, and take that glorified dishrag with you!

(sigh) Such heartache when you find these things won't work out. I'm glad your lovely wife is a Kings fan at least. I can see a little compromise with the Kings and maybe the Bucks, as long as there are no head-to-head playoff matchups.

--Dave

11:11 AM  
Anonymous Toast said...

This is the thanks I get for introducing her to the game.

See, that's wrong. I actually have a rule that if someone gets you to start watching a sport -- you know, really makes the effort -- you have to adopt their team.

I'm a Blazers fan despite the fact that the furthest west I've even lived is Troy, New York. My ex, who lived in Oregon during the Blazers '90 Finals run, became an enthusiastic Blazers fan before we met. When we were first living together, she got me into watching them. Despite having been divorced for several years, they're still my team. (I think it was actually in the settlement that I had to keep them.)

My current wife, when we first started dating, announced that she was a HUGE baseball fan. Never having watched the sport, I kept an open mind, and soon enough her rabid support for the Yankees had me sporting pinstripes. Despite the fact that I grew up in Boston.

After our first two years together, she confessed to me that, despite her initial misgivings, she had fallen in love with the NFL, which of course is on every Sunday without fail in our house. In fact, she said, she now liked football more than baseball. The only problem she was having was choosing a team to root for. She thought maybe the Colts -- "Excuse me," I broke in, fixing her with an icy stare, "I would like to take this opportunity to inform you that you are a New York Jets fan."

(Payback's a bitch, no?)

12:44 PM  
Anonymous fatty said...

wel fellas i'm in a different
boat,see my fiancee does'nt
understand why i have the
nba,nl,mlb,coll.football/hoops
packages,i try to be honest
with her,i live 1.5 from the
hell*hole that's right fellas
3 exits from yankee stadium
and i hate the yankees*mets
see i love the angels,dolphins
c.flames,trailblazers,and the
runnin rebels of unlv hoops...
so living here in nyc it's
rough following my teams so
you can only imagine how great
these sports packages come in
handy,see my trick is to take
her or please her with things
she likes,like this dec 1-4
i'm taking her to south beach
so she can enjoy the sceneary
and fine cuisine's and that
sunday i have 45 yd line seats
for dolphins-jags showdown 5
rows from the field,then
hopefully next summer i hope
to surprise her with a quiet
wedding ceremony during the
vegas summer league,hey dave
and fellow blazers fans front
row seats at the ceremony.....
so my secret is when i go see
my teams at least 2 a year in
person,i take her to the exotic
places palm springs,south beach
but portland is always my private
trip because that place is very
special to me always.....
so the trick for me is throw
her a couple of bones and she'll
be just fine,some perks fellas
for me that's use of my
credit card so she can go
shopping for dvd's believe it
fellas and stephen king books..
works every time.....

1:38 PM  
Blogger Scott R said...

Ken,

Consider yourself lucky. at least you get the debate of WHICH team to watch. i get dirty looks for watching my games and screaming at the TV since my wife is not a fan of sports of any kind. not sure she has a competitive bone in her body. But, i'm working on it, and she actually has started to get happy with me when "WE" win, but she still doesn't understand my personal agony when "WE" lose.

Alas, on point number two, just tell yourself this: The Kings are Blazers South. I have a lot of respect for the Kings, and if the Blazers are down and not thumping the Lakers, i'm hoping the Kings are up and thumping the Lakers. So, just be glad she is a fan of a respectable franchise and not a Flakers fan.


Toast, congratulations on your award in the divorce. i can think of nothing else, short of the children but that is sometimes a tough call, i would want to keep in the divorce proceedings.

Fatty, i want your CC. Go Padres.

2:14 PM  
Blogger Ken said...

Dave, if she looks as hot as Mariah did in Jordan's duds, I wouldn't let it bother me much.

You're absolutely right about it being the Kings, at the least. I can actually root for the Kings, Griz, Spurs and Rockets as long as they aren't playing the Blazers. Also I can root for anyone playing the Lakers, but that's another story.

Toast, way to outfunny the guest writer. The only thing I remember about my divorce decree from my ex is that she no longer wanted my name.

3:43 PM  
Blogger BLAZER PROPHET said...

My wife doesn't know a football from a baseball. However, in a way that makes it kinda nice for me.

3:45 PM  
Anonymous fatty said...

scott it works everytime trust
me,she gets all angry but by 12:40
edt when the angels or blazers
are over she get's her fair
amount of attention before i
go to work at 4:00 a.m. my time
and scott dvd's and stephen king..
boy i'm lucky she don't even know
who lebron is,what a girl.....
have a good weekend fellas....

4:24 PM  
Anonymous Earl said...

I'm lucky. When I met my wife she had never watched basketball in her life. She enjoyed football, which I also enjoy watching, but basketball is far far more important. But I play basketball a few times a week and she started coming to my games. She enjoyed watching me swat shots, nail treys, and dunk on people so much that when it came time to watch the Blazers she completely understood my facination. She usually doesn't want to watch with me but she never minds when I watch.

The trade off is I have to watch HGTV and Food Network with her late night but it's worth it. Plus I like that Alton Brown guy, cooking as a science? Who knew!

7:20 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

Iron Chef all the way, baby!

--Dave

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Anonymous TwoDeep said...

Very entertaining post Ken ... I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Sigh -I wish my wife had some interest in basketball but I'm afraid there is no hope. She does however encourage me to view all Blazer games so that she can adjorn to the den and watch whatever it is she watches. Guess it's best since virtually everyday we spend most of our time working together around our joint.

3:42 PM  
Blogger jojack said...

totally freakin hilarious!! good show lads... i'm in the same predicament myself these days, as i am soon moving to (gasp) L.A.! what if i hook up with some smoking babe and she turns out to be a laker fan? i don't think i could go through with it. it's all well and good if your wife's a kings fan, or a hornets fan, but a LAKER'S FAN!!!!????? i plan to adopt the clippers as my second team, hook up the nba league ticket to see as many blazer games as possible, and avoid women in purple and gold, however hot they may be....

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